The Wisdom of the Children: Holiday Presence

By Judy Guadalupe

We are coming upon another "holiday season" filled with various traditions, influences and commitments. During this season filled with celebrations of Halloween, El Dia de Los Muertos, Thanksgiving, Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Diwali, Christmas and other cultural and spiritual celebrations, let us look at what traditions, rituals and interpretations we are offering our children. Are we happy with the traditions, ceremonies and meanings we have created and share with our families and friends this time of year? Do we feel like the meanings and interpretations we hold dear are reflected in the actual experiences of the holidays and seasons? Do we sometimes feel that the stress of the season is placed upon us by commercialism, consumerism and pressure from traditions and meanings that are not harmonious with our beliefs and interpretations? It seems that we can sometimes lose sight of the kind of rituals or celebrations we would like to create, yielding to the pressure of obligations and expectations. Sometimes instead we stubbornly refuse to participate in certain activities without replacing them with practices and activities that are nourishing to us and that we would like to share with our children. Would you like to fine tune or create new rituals and celebrations that reflect who you and your family are today?

The cycles of the seasons remind us of the impermanence of our experiences, that everything moves, changes, and evolves. How many times do we hear ourselves say "how did it get to be fall already, I cannot believe the holidays are around the corner." It's as if we imagine that we somehow did not do it right, did not notice the time going by, or let "it slip through our fingers." Let us start out this season with a few gifts to ourselves. The first gift can be to give ourselves a daily dose of self-love, to tell ourselves that we are fine, that there is no right and wrong way to experience time and instead of imaging that time is slipping through our fingers, let us imagine (or realize) that there is no time except this present moment that you find yourself in. A most precious and wonderful gift that is offered to us from our children is that they live in the present moment. People come from all over to sit with spiritual teachers simply to be in their Presence.It is because, like a child, they live in the wonder and beauty of the present moment. Last issue the children reminded us that what they needed from us was that we be present with them, to slow down, listen and love. A simple (not always easy) way we can do this is to begin to practice present moment living. Bring your awareness fully into where you are and what is before you.... Surprise yourself and instead of imagining that you do not have enough time during the holidays, take at least ten minutes a day to bring a smile to your face. Not something that you feel you have to or should do, simply a pleasure of being, be walking, be dancing, be sitting or smiling. It can be anything, just get still and listen; the soul knows what nourishes it.

It has been said that world peace begins with inner peace. One way we can assist in creating that inner peace is by noticing the thoughts in our minds that keep that peace at a distance. When the mind is filled with things you let slip by, you did not do well enough, feel guilty about, or do not have enough of, we feel out of sorts, discontented or just plain crazy. Holidays were not originally designed to make us crazy. Holidays were originally meant for ceremony and ritual to mark the cycles of life, days to celebrate the power of spirit and life beyond death and the wonders of the cycles of giving and receiving.

Wouldn't it be fun to skim though all the holiday traditions that have been handed down to us from family, spiritual teachings, culture, education and society and choose those that are nourishing and nurturing to us and our families and discard (ideally with no judgmental emotional charge!) those that do not feel or seem right for us at this time? Go ahead and do it, make it a family thing with your children and partner or friends. Also take time to notice your children's messages and create together traditions that reflect your ever-growing evolving family. I began to notice how my child feels after a walk by the river compared to a trip to the mall. I notice how my children play in an open meadow compared to the toys in the closet. I notice how I felt when I bought a few conscious nature friendly toys for the children in my life compared to succumbing to over buying or the plastic frenzy. Take Notice. Notice how you feel after an evening of celebration and rituals with people that nourish your soul. Watch your children, they will let you know who nourishes them. They will light up with people whose vibration feels good to them, it's that simple. So when you go to visit old grumpy aunt and uncle la and lo, go there with clown costumes on. You can still go to have family dinner with all your relatives, just do so over several weeks instead of trying to get it all in on one day. Make a cake for the neighbor that never comes out or smiles. Jump rope with the kid that pushed your sister. Hold grouchy grandma in a group hug or tickle her knees. Start the first annual toy give away parade and go from street to street giving away toys. Have a potluck with desserts only and then go out to dinner. Enjoy the extra treats you eat and tell yourself that love is all there is in the ingredients or spray your children's' and your own pillows with lavender water instead of dessert. If you have a crawler at home have a family crawling holiday, it's awesome! Give people something to be thankful for, like a certificate for a bi-monthly house cleaning to your single mom friend. Bring your family to visit the managed care center, especially the baby. Write thank you notes to the people who you are grateful for, let the children do the artwork and send some of their own. Ask your children how they would like to share and bring joy during the holidays, they are so creative. Teach others about the true meaning of giving by giving away your favorite toy or spend your last dollar on the homeless or the abandoned dog or your sister who you don't get along with that well. Be radical. Change the status quo.

When I get still and listen to the wisdom of the children, I hear it like this; "Let go of obligation that keeps you from being true to yourself, release guilt so that you have energy to do things from joy and caring. Let go of have to's and if only's.

For us it is about joy, if it is not joyful and from your heart we would rather not participate. We do not want to be taught obligation from an owing someone something standpoint. We want to feel good about what we do, celebrate and ritualize. Following your inner voice, your heart would never allow you to intentionally hurt someone. Be careful of expectations, those placed on you and those you in turn place on us. We are sure that world peace begins with inner peace; inner peace begins with living your truth with great love...

The human culture just got mixed up, some people decided how you were supposed to be and everyone believed them. It is time to un-believe them for you are simply supposed to be yourself. For you are light, a bright pure light, all from the same Source, and each with your own flavor or vibration. There is nothing else you can be and no one else can be you. So for the holidays give the world and your children the gift they are waiting for...You. Just as you are. Give them the present of your full presence. Time does not slip by when you are here now. Time ceases to exist. We love you and we are so excited to cycle life with you, sacred ones."

Judy Guadalupe's passion is to discover ways to live in harmony with all life, learn from and trust the divine nature in the children, the natural world and all human beings as we uncover the possibilities for a Vibrationally new world. She is trained and educated in counseling, energy medicine and yoga. Her greatest teachers are her partner, Krishna and their three children. She has small practice in Sacramento called Inner Health offering individual sessions, groups and classes for parents and support systems of children integrating yoga, counseling and energy-work to assist in bringing balance to body, mind and soul. She also teaches pre and postnatal yoga at the Sacramento Yoga Center. Judy may be reached at judypaz@earthlink.com or (916) 427-6403 or www.sacyoga.org